Responsive vs Directive communication - what's the difference and why does it matter?


Hi Reader,

I've been busy researching, reflecting, and preparing my slides and workbook for next week's webinar Responsive Relationships - Neurodiversity Affirming Communication Strategies for Professionals to Connect with Neurodivergent Children. And in this process I've been thinking a LOT about what it takes to build stronger, supportive connections with neurodivergent children.

One of the most important pieces of this is when grown ups who care for and support neurodivergent children use responsive communication strategies.

So today I'm sharing my outline of the differences between responsive and directive communication and the impact of each style.

Directive Communication 🧑 ➡️ 👧

  • A more 'traditional' approach: Often involves instructing children on how to behave, act and respond. Adults are in charge, adults have all the power
  • Problems with Directive Communication:
    • Diminishes experiences: Makes children feel their experiences, feelings and perspectives are unimportant or invalid. Reduces self-concept and self-confidence. This can lead to poor mental health outcomes.
    • Invalidates feelings: Sends a message that their experience of the world and their own body and mind are not to be trusted, so they loose trust in the messages they perceive. Removes the ability to self-advocate if they can't even figure out what support they should ask for or need.

Responsive Communication 🧑 🔄 👧

  • Empathetic, respectful approach: Focuses on listening (seeing, perceiving... not just with your ears!), viewing the child’s perspective as true for them and valid. Interactions start and continue by following what the child is thinking, telling us, and communicating in any way (behaviours included)
  • Benefits of Responsive Communication:
    • Validates experiences: Recognises the legitimacy of a child’s feelings and perspectives, even if they fluctuate and even if they seem very different to what you would have expected
    • Enhances understanding: Encourages a deeper empathy towards what the child is actually experiencing.
    • Supports self-advocacy: Helps children develop the ability to advocate for themselves by reinforcing their confidence in their own experiences

Here's how you can learn more with me on these topics, Reader.

Join me at my upcoming webinar, Responsive Relationships - Neurodiversity Affirming Communication Strategies for Professionals to Connect with Neurodivergent Children, to delve deeper into these strategies. This webinar is live next Monday + recording available for 12 months! I've created it for all professionals who support neurodivergent children, including medical, allied health, and education professionals.

We're on LIVE in just...

Count down to 2024-04-22T02:00:00.000Z

(and yes if you can't join live you'll get the recording!)

So tap below to learn more and join me for this important webinar!

🎧 To learn more about responsive and directive communication, listen to my fresh podcast episode: Responsive Relationship Strategies for Building Connection with Autistic Children!

Thank you for being a part of my community. By adapting our communication to be more inclusive and understanding, we can all can make a such an important difference to ND children... I hope you'l join me in reflecting on your own relationship and communication strategies!

Wishing you a fabulous day!

Adina Levy

Neurodivergent Speech Therapist & Professional Educator

Play. Learn. Chat.

hi@playlearnchat.com • www.playlearnchat.com


🙋🏼‍♀️ Hi! I'm Adina, a neurodivergent Speech Therapist and professional educator from Sydney, Australia. I’m so happy you’re here!

I’m an AuDHDer, meaning I am an autistic ADHDer. My life’s stories and experiences intertwine with my clinical experiences, and the lived experiences and perspectives of other neurodivergent people. These perspectives inform everything that I teach and share.

I’m dedicated to helping families, therapists, educators, teachers and communities to understand neurodivergent children better, and develop a deeper acceptance of children’s unique interests, passions, individual strengths and support needs.

I am an educator, podcaster, speaker, and I send helpful emails around Neurodiversity Affirming practice and support, that I hope will help you support the neurodivergent children in your life with more clarity and confidence!


⚫️🟡🔴​ 🔵⚪️🟢​​ ​I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the lands on which I ​live, work and play - the Gadigal and the Bidjigal people. I recognise their continuing connection to land, waters and culture. I pay my respects to Elders past​ and present.​ I acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands where you are reading this from today.

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Play. Learn. Chat.

Helping busy parents build kids' communication and social skills. Simple, practical tips & support delivered conveniently online by Speech Therapist Adina Levy

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